The Japanese Maturity Woman

In my millenial-generation jadedness, a reactive pathos is made necessary- studiously sincere, I wonder who this reluctant but apparently consenting Yoko woman is - the films indicate that in the early 80's she was around 40 years old. The films themselves appear to be authentically amateur, owing as much to the camera work (stationary? on a tripod?) as to her unshaved, unpolished, beleagured resignation. She would have been born in 1944, making her just a year old when the bombs were dropped on Hiroshima and Nagasaki - she'd be 67 today. (I CAN MATH) I wonder if her house was damaged by the tsunami, and if she ever got divorced or stayed with the guy in these videos. I can't assume that she didn't enjoy herself, I suppose - maybe it was a sub/dom situation or maybe she was just tired.

Stained

Wonderful.

Adventures on Sexroulette: Vol. 2

The Good Dr. Benjamin, Koko, and Ill orchestrated FOX and BUNNY handpuppets on sexroulette. Two gents in particular stood out, as they continued to jerk off even when they saw that their chat partner was just two handpuppets screwing.

Greige

This isn't porn, but it is about the millenial generation's Jenna Jameson - Sasha Grey, the too-much referred to enthusiastic, intellectual, and uber-liberal porn starlet. *
This article is a critique of the neutered porn-ness that disengages the general population from their own obsession with on-demand sex - the way that the porn star, and the porn world, have to be decontextualized and reconstructed to make palatable in the daytime what is shamefully pleasing after dark; or, as Zak Smith** writes, "Those who enjoy whatever private pleasure is to be gained from receiving physical pain publicly would appear not to overlap at all with those who enjoy whatever private pleasure is to be gained from inflicting shame collectively."

Also, it includes lines like this one "There is a cut to the nearly all-female audience looking like they are watching a live appendectomy being performed on an unanesthetized kitten after having been told that, if they move at all, the kitten will be impaled on fence spikes and then incinerated."

*In my opinion, she seems to have one very sleepy eye-fucking facial expression that seems almost comical in its studious but hollow attempt at seductiveness.
** I have an imaginary romantic relationship with Zak Smith.

Just pretend this is Beowulf

Computer Animated Beast Blowjob, as created by a horny graphic design major at SUNY Buffalo in 1999 and starring this girl he's got a chubby for who is "kind of into acting and totally comfortable with [her] sexuality." Can you try for a moment to imagine what it must be like to PRETEND to be rubbing a penis belonging to a monster all over your face, which is coated with [imaginary] ejaculate? Go Bulls.

Enormous Balls

Whales have huge balls. Right whales have ENORMOUS balls, which weigh, literally, a ton. Also, they have threesomes. This article is fairly interesting and super informative, and it's about whale penises.

Gap Sex

If any Gap company EXCEPT OLD NAVY made sex, it would look like this. A bleach-sanitized porno- something you could show your prude girlfriend who doesn't even like sex because she gets turned off by the squishy, bushy, noisy wet parts of coitus. The organic, human, vulnerable, intimate parts. This is the safest porn I've seen outside of softcore, and it looks like it was shot right before/after (during?) an N*Sync video.
The parent company is X-Art, whose website markets "beautiful erotica" on a very flashy, classy website. This shit looks completely professional - sparkling, healthy and homogeneous young models and their hairless, tiny pussies. Young men who probably play lacrosse but are in the off-season and have neither bruises nor intimidating musculature are in a constant state of erection for the suburban sex they gamely perform. The videos themselves sound like the "racy" titles Nars gives their cosmetics ("tenderness," "naked in the sun," "naughty girl"). I sincerely find this kind of porn a bummer - it seems miserably art-less and scrupulously benign - I imagine the men's cumshots (of which I was unable to locate in a video on the site) smell faintly of febreeze and taste like flat Fresca. It's hardly porn - more like easily digested, warm soapy intercourse.

Vanilla Beans vol. 1

It begs the question, "are we truly advancing as a species?" when the single greatest puppet-themed sex flick was introduced in 1976. It's niche market has been cornered, and virtually uncontested ever since. I suppose the endless panoply of televised, pilly, role models of the 70s and 80s, hands twisting and shucking at their insides, is gone. And I, as a product of that era, should have guessed that the grown-ups merely planted me in front of a screen glowing with Sesame Street, Pinwheel, the Muppets and Muppet Babies, as a means to fulfill their daily fisting requirements, and nothing more. But those shows have largely disappeared. So what sort of demand is there for this type of thing anymore? Maybe this is more about the cathode ray babysitter vs. the broadband babysitter. Maybe I should just shut the fuck up and let you watch, nay - experience, LET MY PUPPETS COME.

Adventures on Sexroulette: Part 1

WATCHING AN OLD GUY JERK OFF

I don't have many hobbies. If "owning a cat" doesn't count as a hobby, then I don't have any hobbies at all. So, here's what I spent the last 20 minutes doing: eating a quesadilla, smoking pot, and going on sexroulette and nexting until I found a charming, small penis.

This penis belonged to a self-described "old man" who had "been married a long time" and wanted to know if a) I would get naked for him (to which I replied "no, I'm doing research for my class at college") and b) if I had ever seen my daddy hard (no.) The last four minuted of the conversation were full of long, long pauses, then he would repeat "this feels good," as if he would be masturbating for any other reason.
Chatroulette works because the purpose is to talk to people, strangers, and have streaming reciprocal video. Sexroulette is for propping the pillows up behind you to make the iSight focus on your genitals while still allowing you to view the screen so you can masturbate and, if you're optimistic, watch someone else (female?) pleasure themselves as well. Audio on sexroulette is like tits on a soccer ball -an awkward game ruiner.

I don't like talking to old strangers while they jerk off, and it wasn't particularly empowering to watch a man ejaculate while I clinically scrutinized his pulsing genitals, pausing to look off at my sleeping cat on the carpet and then blinking back to a screen of his bliss and his labored "mmm, look at that."

the end ?

Better Sex Video

Anal Stimulation how-to filmed and edited by the cast/crew of E True Hollywood story special reports. Porn + Science voiceover, yes.