Dick Splinters

You know that post I made earlier about furniture porn, and how I expressed a desire for a live-action video presentation thereof? Right, well, wish granted - lucky me.
Why is this wonderful? Because it's absurd to have intercourse with such a sexless object. Perhaps my admiration of the video is just general penis envy; I'll be the first to admit that if I was blessed with the endowment of a clam-hammer I'd be cramming it into every gaping maw and unresponsive slot I could find (instead, I'm cursed with a camera-pouch).
The video's description provides no insight into motivation, and instead reads like one of those brilliantly scripted MAD TV sketches that celebrate the linguistic impairments of foreigners:

"A guy is fucking his chair...

The chair didn't orgasming."

Was the chair supposed to orgasm, or is that sarcasm? He doesn't seem to be putting forth much effort at getting the chair off, but some guys are like that. What would a chair orgasm even look like? Why did he film it? Why is there a page-peel transition to the slowmo takes of this guy dicking the chair? Why do his moans sound like a door creaking open? Is he doing this to prove a point?