Oi!/Oy!

After much begging, pleading and black mail, Ms. Owen has finally allowed me to contribute to the crusty, runny, smelly little erogenous zone we call the Pride Sack. It's an, um, honor. I think.

Unfortunately, the footsteps I have to follow are of such great girth and width. Each and every one of the regular contributors are valued connoisseurs of the filthy underbelly of the online porno community. What could I possibly offer?

Seeing that there's a monopoly held on unsettling and disgusting content I suppose I will have to use my expertise of all things awkward to pull my weight around here.

And what could be more awkward than curious skinheads?


Okay, I guess they seem pretty sure of themselves. Apparently the only thing skinheads love more than smoking, drinking, atrocious techno and beating the shit out of people is some good old fashioned brotherly love.
A-dorable.

This on the other hand just scares me. This is a man who you do not want to cruise. Any guy badass enough to rock the U.S. flag chest piece while spraying seed all over the internet is far too much man for me. I don't think I've ever encountered someone so enthusiastic about causing harm with his sex organs and jizz-lathered hand. He doesn't even know you, but boy does he want to make you his bitch. Yikes.

On that note, be safe this holiday season. Though times get lonely, fellating scary skinhead boys isn't always the answer. I leave you with an alternative.
Merry Christmas, happy Chanukah