People always used to look at me oddly when I talked about Snow White being a disturbing movie from my childhood. I wasn't aware that the version I saw as a kid wasn't the one most people think about.

We all have to face our demons, though.

I have to deal with the fact that instead of thinking of dwarves as singing darling little musical numbers of friendly gibberish, I imagine a grunting, dead-eyed creature with a slide whistle penis.

I have to come to terms with the humiliation I felt one evening when I said I thought that drinking a pitcher of SUPER ORGASME and getting impaled on Satan's cock was a pretty extreme death for a children's movie, only to find out that no, the queen was tastefully struck by lightning and crushed to death by a boulder.

And when people talk about the well choreographed scene involving the dwarves' house, I always take a moment to remember they're talking about cute forest animals instead of it pulsing like the TV from Videodrome.

I guess I can find solace in that at least in both versions we have fucking Dopey.


DIKKE-DIKKE-DIKK