BallMashers II

NOTE: If Ko Ko's post of the BME self-castration bothered you, you'll probably hate this, so if you're covered in baby girls or are otherwise of the weak-and-moist persuasion, just leave this one alone. Really.
However, if you hate your testicles enough to puncture them with play-piercing needles loaded into a caulking gun, or if it ever seems like a neat-o idea to light your dick on fire, please video tape it and post it to the internet so that I can leave commentary in the form of yawning emoticons and mock-directions to The Department of Redundancy Department.
PS. To the Good Dr. B., I'm sorry that at 0:17 there is a guy spraying bloody semen. There is, sadly, very little left to be done in the realm of scrotal destruction.

Rather, From The War To The Womb

"Protect our troops - from the womb to the war. What if the fetus you were going to abort would grow up to be a soldier bringing democracy to a godless dictatorship?"

Caption Contest

Winner gets bragging rights. Happy Holidays.

Merry Fucking Christmas.

Carlos must be a very lucky man.

Castrotica... The Worst Planet EVER

What is it about the prospect of scooping my penis from my pelvic cavity that makes me quiver and convulse involuntarily? Why does my heart sink to my feet when I imagine bobbing my balls with a rubber band until they blacken, dessicate, and flake away like sexy dandruff? Is there something wrong with me? It's not because I'm a sexually-defined dudebro either. When I see Chris Farley get rogered in his meatbasket with a giant fish, I barely take notice. It's just not a tender subject of mine. I can, and have on numerous occasions, watched gender reassignment procedures without batting an eye. The idea of flaying my penis and shoving it back inside of me to make an ugly little cooter doesn't "irk" me. At least not in any emasculating way. It garnishes a big "whatever" on the "holy fucking shit" scale. So why do eunuchs make me want to die a little bit... oh alright, A WHOLE LOT? I think it's that becoming a eunuch is so final. It's like being trapped in sexual purgatory, where repulsive, body-modified men named "Byron" and "Skab" force you to eat uncooked rice and lactate into their willing mouths. If the mind-numbing duress and finality of replacing your entire biological motivation with keloid-scarred androgyny is something that appeals to your weekend warrior side, then, maybe you need something to dissuade you.

Albino Porn

Oh holy grail of internet porns, I salute thee.
Here at Pridesack, we usually post videos. Usually. Today I make the exception because I'm damned if I can find free interweb videos of albino porn - somebody please prove me wrong.
Anyway, these are all the same girl, the same albino, but boy does she love touching wee-wees on camera for profit. And yes, I do believe in her albinism, despite the pigmentation of the eyes, she seems to have otherwise unnaturally blonde hair (the roots of which show to varying degrees) and of course, melanin-free skin. More about the eyes (which are not lab-rat-red)-
"Oculocutaneous albinism type 1 (OCA1) (Mendelian Inheritance in Man (OMIM) 203100) is the type with (usually) the least amount of pigment. People with this type generally have very pale skin, white to yellow hair (depending on subtype, see below) and light blue eyes..."
Yes, this is the "surprise" I mentioned last Friday - SomethingAwful goons said that it couldn't be done and fucking BAM! I ruled them tres hard.
"Why is this awesome?" you might ask (if you're an asshole who hates fun) - well, because it's rare - albinism is, I mean, and the point of "awesome" porn (not gross, not painful, not stimulating, necessarily, but awesome porn) is to find the exotic and force it into some form of eroticism. Rarities (congenital deformations, amazing talents, fantastic locations, costumes, positions, etc.) plus sexual acts (or at least genital contact) equals pretty interesting stuff. So you know, have at it.
P.S. You're all very welcome.

Oi!/Oy!

After much begging, pleading and black mail, Ms. Owen has finally allowed me to contribute to the crusty, runny, smelly little erogenous zone we call the Pride Sack. It's an, um, honor. I think.

Unfortunately, the footsteps I have to follow are of such great girth and width. Each and every one of the regular contributors are valued connoisseurs of the filthy underbelly of the online porno community. What could I possibly offer?

Seeing that there's a monopoly held on unsettling and disgusting content I suppose I will have to use my expertise of all things awkward to pull my weight around here.

And what could be more awkward than curious skinheads?


Okay, I guess they seem pretty sure of themselves. Apparently the only thing skinheads love more than smoking, drinking, atrocious techno and beating the shit out of people is some good old fashioned brotherly love.
A-dorable.

This on the other hand just scares me. This is a man who you do not want to cruise. Any guy badass enough to rock the U.S. flag chest piece while spraying seed all over the internet is far too much man for me. I don't think I've ever encountered someone so enthusiastic about causing harm with his sex organs and jizz-lathered hand. He doesn't even know you, but boy does he want to make you his bitch. Yikes.

On that note, be safe this holiday season. Though times get lonely, fellating scary skinhead boys isn't always the answer. I leave you with an alternative.
Merry Christmas, happy Chanukah