What's the Ugliest Part of Your Body?

This is truly fascinating. Freak Fuckers, a porn site devoted to "bizarre" pornography, actually just produces b-horror movie sex scenes with an attempt at a coherent plot. Every other clip on the site makes me think of Videodrome, but Freak Fuckers actually sort of emphasizes the discourse of the Pridesack: why are people paying to see this and ostensibly masturbate to it? This is cinema and grand guignol theater and a donkey show all together. The desire for freak show spectacle has been perverted (a term not used pejoratively on this website) into a Freudian nightmare of GWAR-like proportions. Thankfully, as with GWAR, the tongue is planted firmly in cheek. All the sex seems consensual, and aside from faked enthusiasm for the diddling of tummy-vaginas and neck-pussies, the intercourse seems fairly straightforward and unencumbered by the psychodynamics that drive so much "hardcore" smut; the formula seems to be "put genitals where they don't belong, fuck". The freaks, in this case, are as fake as the prosthetic mouth-vagina's orgasm, which distances these videos from authentic exploitation and comforts your correspondent to no small degree. Is there a disparity between the presumed intention of this pornographic work and its actual result? Are you laughing? Are you turned on?
See also: Labia by Ann Talor

Quaker

I have attempted to provide a concise translation for the following video, one which does not compromise textual integrity yet maintains the idiosyncratic vernacular of two very fine gentlewomen. To be fair, only one girl speaks, but the other slattern's coughing and feverish moaning must certainly be classified as Chomskyan utterances vis-à-vis the vulgarity of pornographic semantics.

http://www.eatyoursoup.com/


Transcript of conversation, translated from the AZN:

0:04-0:05 - Oh God, the toenail clippings that Katsu cum-glued to my uvula are starting to dislodge…

0:06-0:07 - He, of all people, should know what happens when his ejaculate and my stomach acid mix.

0:20 - Anyways, I think we've got a good shot at ending up on Limewire, being VERRRY well seeded...

0:22-0:26 - They say to shoot for the moon because even if you miss, you land among the stars. We're number one! We're number one!

0:32-0:34 - That last retch felt hot. Let's just hope they don't forget to censor our snatches. Glorious Nippon indeed, eh Kiyoko?


(6/04/2010: It seems that there has already been a post for this video, provided by Ms. Owen some months earlier. While we here at the Pridesack normally eschew this type of repetition, Ms. Owen and I have decided that this post adds quite constructively to hers. Cheers!)

People always used to look at me oddly when I talked about Snow White being a disturbing movie from my childhood. I wasn't aware that the version I saw as a kid wasn't the one most people think about.

We all have to face our demons, though.

I have to deal with the fact that instead of thinking of dwarves as singing darling little musical numbers of friendly gibberish, I imagine a grunting, dead-eyed creature with a slide whistle penis.

I have to come to terms with the humiliation I felt one evening when I said I thought that drinking a pitcher of SUPER ORGASME and getting impaled on Satan's cock was a pretty extreme death for a children's movie, only to find out that no, the queen was tastefully struck by lightning and crushed to death by a boulder.

And when people talk about the well choreographed scene involving the dwarves' house, I always take a moment to remember they're talking about cute forest animals instead of it pulsing like the TV from Videodrome.

I guess I can find solace in that at least in both versions we have fucking Dopey.


DIKKE-DIKKE-DIKK

Labia by Ann Taylor

Popular US women's clothing retailer Ann Taylor is now selling a skin-colored tank top with labia hanging on the chest like the costume for some Cronenburg fantasy-woman.

Inverted Dingus

Cora: I think the rest of it is coiled up in his fupa*.

I have never seen a penis this tiny. I don't know how to feel. As a sexually experienced young woman, I have encountered all manner of peen, but this... it's very small. It's like a mini-marshmallow of foreskin. I don't pity the guy, he's obviously comfortable enough with it to post videos online, and he knows it's small. I don't envy him, either, of course, but how should I feel? Repulsion would be cruel, laughter is worse - but to shrug this off? It is an anomaly. The closest emotion I can articulate is fascination.

*Fupa: Fat Upper Pussy Area

What would Saramago think?

I'm glad this happened, really. It's as if the sexy parts of porn are being explained to me by strangers. OH WAIT

Epic Unicorn Man is Epic

Even if this has been seen by every man, woman, and child on this good Earth, this is a thing that needs to be documented; etched in silicon as EUM is etched in our hearts.

Forever and ever, Amen.

"This isn't a train wreck, but it's funny." - Adam

Not porn, but I still got off on it.

"Little Mermaid Porn and Gore"

We fffffound this.

My mind is reblown.

"Little Mermaid Porn and Gore" - these are a few of my favorite things.